This blog post is inspired by a recent conversation I had with one of my interns. For I, too, strive not just to lead, but to continually learn from those who are just beginning their own journeys.
Ah, the joy of being approached for wisdom by the younger generation! It’s quite the milestone, isn’t it? So there I was, caught in a delightful whirlwind of philosophical musings sparked by an intern’s question. This young soul, with eyes brimming with ambition, sought my advice on a rather pressing dilemma. She had been offered two other internship positions (besides the one she’s already in with me—impressive, I know, but let’s stay on track). The two opportunities were distinct in scope, and she was worried about making the wrong choice and potentially falling behind in her career.
Imagine, already fretting about being “behind” at this young stage in life. It was my duty to shed some light on this path! I told her:
“It sounds like a great opportunity to reflect on what you hope to gain from your work experiences. For instance, are you looking to dive deep into a specific area, or would you prefer broader exposure to diverse fields? Pinpointing what you want to get out of your work can align closely with your values and career aspirations.
Remember, if you’re unsure about what you want, that’s perfectly okay too! It means there’s no wrong choice here. You’re not going to be ‘behind’ by choosing one over the other. There’s also no absolute ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision in this scenario—you don’t want to be caught up in regret, right? One of the best pieces of advice I ever received from a mentor was: ‘When you’re at a crossroad, there isn’t a right decision. Just make the decision right for you.’”
She thanked me and admitted she hadn’t considered viewing her decision through the lens of her current interests rather than just future opportunities. I reminded her that both can be true: you can follow a path that deeply motivates you and still find future success. As a 31-year-old who faced my own life-altering decisions at 22, I know how nerve-racking it can be to choose between two divergent paths. But in the end, it’s about making the choice that feels right for you in the moment and trusting that the journey will unfold as it should.
Ah, this is where my own words led me on a delightful journey down the rabbit hole. The conversation with my intern sparked a cascade of thoughts about choices and identity. You see, there really isn’t such a thing as a right or wrong decision because each choice we make reflects the person we aspire to become. This idea isn’t just personal—it’s universal. Every interaction, every decision we make, reveals our envisioned self. Sure, there can be decisions that are safe, convenient, and perhaps even ‘logical’, but at the end of the day, those are secondary to the primary reason: our decisions are based on the person we want to become .
Consider this: when someone goes out of their way to do something kind for you, even at their own inconvenience, they’re choosing to be the person who makes others feel seen and valued. Conversely, when someone hurts you through action or inaction, they are acting in line with who they want to be. On the receiving end, it’s up to us to decide if we continue the exchange of energy with that person. Actions are often driven by intentions, and understanding those intentions can be puzzling. For instance, someone might inconvenience themselves for you because they believe that being inconvenienced is part of a reciprocal relationship. This might stem from their desire to be wanted, needed, and included in your life. Even if it hurts them, their actions reflect their aspiration to be loved, no matter the inconvenience. On the other hand, someone might hurt you because they believe that doing so is necessary to become the person they envision. Regardless of the intention, the core message remains clear: people act in accordance with who they want to become.
Let’s circle back to my intern’s dilemma. Her quest for advice reflects her deep concern for her future self, the person she aspires to become. She worries about falling behind in her career goals, yet she might not have fully considered what genuinely excites her about her options—what truly aligns with her intrinsic interests.
The essence of this post is a gentle yet profound reminder: there is no “right” or “wrong” decision, because each choice is a step towards becoming the person you want to be.
So, dear readers, when you find yourself at a crossroads, faced with two diverging paths, take a deep breath. Know that there is no wrong choice if your heart and mind are grounded in self-love and compassion. May you all choose the path that resonates with the person you want to become, not the person you think you have to become.
And now, let’s dive even deeper down this rabbit hole. Do you truly like the person you’re becoming? Do you know them intimately? Are they embodying the values you truly care about?
I hope you can answer with a confident “hell yeah!”